Comments on: Being happy for another’s good fortune

By: Kyla

Kyla — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 13:36:17 +0000

In reply to Sarah.

Hi Sarah,

You bring up a really good point. Getting good grades in school definitely did not make it easier for me to find friends. I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable with compliments in general. And if somebody does compliment me, rather than just accepting it, I’m likely to be thinking about how I think I still fall short in that area.

“When I see someone else succeed and realize what they did for their success, it can inspire me to do more.”

It seems that there is an important difference seeing someone’s success and thinking about what they did to get there verses just looking at the surface and seeing the success.

-Kyla

By: Sarah

Sarah — Tue, 06 Dec 2016 18:12:21 +0000

What an awesome set of questions and self-reflection! I’ve got a corollary in my life, which is how do I stop myself from minimizing or putting myself down when other people praise or comment on my success? I think I learned early in life that getting the A also meant disapproval from peers and I’m still fighting with that sense of stigma about succeeding. I do think I’m mostly authentically happy for other people’s success, though — and also that a little healthy jealousy can be very motivating. When I see someone else succeed and realize what they did for their success, it can inspire me to do more. (Or to decide that I’m not interested in success at that price, I guess!)